I have returned . Only to tell the world my deepest and darkest secret. I have to confess of my sin . I Rev. Arthur Dimmesdale am the father of the sinful child Pearl . It is only right that I confess now because, it has made me weak. I am Suffering inside. Literally I am dieing. I cant hold this in much longer. Hester and I have committed a horrible sin and we are both very sorry for it. I have not told anyone back here in Boston, but my guilt is eating me alive. Each day that I think of this I become very much weaker then the day before. This secret weights heavy on my heart. My sermons are really about the only things good in my life at this point. I can never forgive my self for the sin that I have committed unto you today.  I don’t think I can tell anyone at this point but you. ” Were it gods will,  I could be well content, that my labors , and  my sorrows , and my sins, and my pains, should shortly end with me “. I cant trust anyone. I cant even trust that Roger Chillingworth. I feel as if he is my worse nightmare. He is suppose to be my medical advisor and he claims that he wants to help . But its something about him I just don’t trust I think he knows whats going on. When I look into his eyes I feel nothing but pure evil. Its like he is hollow inside with no heart or feelings. I woke up one night and my shirt had been unbuttoned. I didnt know what to think. He is up to something and I will find out. If I don’t wish to tell my sin. I will be the one to tell it not Chillingworth. But first I have to get out of this tight grip he has on me and  my life. I don’t not wish to be taking control of I am An independent man and I shall show no longer my weakness but my strength.