Please Don’t Judge Me

I can’t stand the fact of not being with my family. I worked so hard to get where I’m at, with my job. I’m very good at what I do. This is too much for me to handle. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to explode. I try to push this to the back of my head but it just makes it worst. I need to vent to someone.

It’s late at night and I can’t sleep. I barely get any sleep nowadays. The sin I have committed is eating me up inside .I’m outside now walking to the punishment platform .Maybe if I confess this out loud I will feel a little better. I really want to tell everyone what I did so I can start my life over. I want to help Hester and Pearl get there selves together.

As I was standing on the platform I heard footsteps. They didn’t notice me but I recognized them. I tried to speak but words wouldn’t come out. I wanted to confess my sin to him but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wish I had the courage and ability to confess the sin that she committed. I think I just need more time to get myself together so that I will be stronger again. I’m so weak, it hurts my heart. I walk around with my hand held on my heart. I wonder if people notice, I know Pearl notices because she always looks at me weird.

I wonder sometimes how my life got turned upside down. Overthinking becomes so stressful. I’ve never been this sick and worried in my life. Its so dark and cold out here ,and all I can do is think. I just want to be happy with my family and have a good job, but that cannot happen because of my sin.