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My little Pearl is now seven years old. A lot has changed in the past seven years. I discovered that my husband Chillingworth was still living. I promised Chillingworth that I would never tell anyone his true identity. I am a different person; I am much more active in my community. I bring food to the door, nurse the sick, and I help people with their troubles. People are now starting to see me different too. They are now starting to view the A as Able instead of Adulterer but there is still people who just cannot accept me and still treat me bad. Chillingworth moved in with Dimmesdale and I feel like I am causing Dimmesdale harm by keeping Chillingworth’s true identity a secret. I have decided to meet up with Chillingworth and tell him to stop torturing Dimmesdale. I will also tell him that it’s time for Dimmesdale to know is true identity. I suspect that Chillingworth knows everything that happened between Dimmesdale and I, and that he is Pearl’s father.  I talked to Chillingworth and we got into an argument, I soon realized that I hate him. As I was looking for Pearl I noticed that she had put an A on her chest and I wondered if she knew the meaning of the A that is on my chest. We started discussing it but I then decided that Pearl was too young to know the meaning of the A on my chest because she connected it to Dimmesdale always clutching his hand over his heart. For the next couple of days Pearl kept asking my about the A and Dimmesdale puts his hand over his heart “Silly Pearl, what questions are these? There are many things in this world that a child must not ask about. What know I of minister’s heart? And I as for the scarlet letter, I wear it for the sake of its gold thread” (143). I don’t know what to do, I want to tell little Pearl the truth but she’s just too young to understand. I have decided look up advice on telling kids the truth about things. I hope this website can help me come up with a way of helping Pearl understand. http://www.writingthroughlife.com/journal-writing-tips-telling-the-truth

I am Dimmesdale. I graduated from Oxford making me very intelligent. Look at what a great school it is: http://www.ox.ac.uk/. In England I am greatly respected for my intelligence and my eloquence and persuasiveness in my sermons and that respect had transferred with me to America. Here I am one of the reverends of the town, a hypocritical reverend but that’s my secret. One day I came across the most beautiful Puritan woman i had ever laid eyes on with her “figure of perfect elegance” (Hawthrone 37). I’m a reverend, yes I know, but temptations really got the best of me after Hester and I fell in love. Here’s the saddest part: we committed the terrible sin of fortification, leaving Hester pregnant. Nobody would ever suspect me to be the father and everyone knows Hester is unmarried. For her, well our sin, she was forced to stand on a scaffold for 3 hours, even with her baby Pearl, and she must wear the letter A on her breast for the rest of her life. I was even apart of her public shaming. Knowing what I’ve done and the fact that my sins have gone unnoticed and unpunished eats away at me everyday. My guilty conscious has been stronger than ever and has started to take a heavy toll on my well-being. However, I simply cannot find it in me to confess my terrible sin. I’m a minister! If I let everyone in on my secret, all my respect will be thrown down the drain. At the same time, keeping the secret is killing me more than its helping me. I’ve become very weak, pale, and ill because I feel so terrible. Hester endured all the punishment alone while it should have been the both of us. Everyday this terrible thought taunts me. I’m torn on what i should do. If the townspeople find out that Pearl is my baby, they might kill me. Such a minister like me should not sin so terribly. Even though my health is declining, I cannot fathom letting everyone know the great sin I’ve committed..

Authur Dimmesdale’s Last Sermon

Today I present my sermon for the Election Day. I’m actually kind of nervous because after I present my sermon we have this big parade, which I would have to walk around and wave to the townspeople, but one problem is that I can hardly stand up. I am really weak right now that is why I have to lean on something so it can hold me up. After I present my sermon and the parade Hester, Pearl, and I are going to get on the boat that will take us to Europe. During my sermon Hester found out that Chillingworth was going to be on the boat with us. I find this very weird because of what Hester told me when we were in the woods. I might decide to tell the secret that has been killing since seven years ago. I need to tell this secret because “I am most miserable! Pg.151” I am going to tell it in front of the whole town after my speech. Nobody knows but me not even Hester knows. I hope that after I tell the secret the townspeople will accept me for who I am and what happened. I’m very nervous though I do not know how I should tell the townspeople. I cannot just blurt it out to them then they will be very surprised. I know that Hester will be very proud of me because she will not be in this alone. Even though people already accepted her for what she has done. They also think that Hester has redeemed herself and being a really big help to the community. I am still kind of nervous though because I think the townspeople will be very shocked with me. Well it is only one way to find out what they think of me after this sermon. Hopefully they still think of me as the same Authur Dimmesdale.

Image Link: http://www.stpaul-ia.com/userfiles/preaching.jpg

Internet Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umbUIzadFE0&feature=relmfu

I can’t believe that the Reverend just confessed that he has committed adultery with Hester. I knew something was going on with them, i heard from the townspeople that they were going back to England, so i offered to go on the trip because the ship needed a doctor. When Hester found out she was furious. Later on that day we went to the sermon that the reverend was giving out for Election Day. On the way to the town hall for the feast the Reverend was acting really strange because he was limping and was going towards the scaffold where Hester and Pearl were and was standing on it with them. He was confessing to the people that he has committed a sin, adultery.  When he was done speaking he started getting worse and then he suddenly died. Now I don’t know what to do since I can’t torture Dimmesdale anymore.

I am pretty sure that this doctor that has been praised as a healer is trying to kill me. And I do not even know why he would want to kill me. Every day he has come in the tower where I was staying and torments my soul every day. (He now dug into the poor clergyman’s heart, like a miner searching for gold; or, rather, like a sexton delving into a grave, possibly in quest of a jewel that had been buried on the dead man’s bosom, but likely to find nothing save mortality and corruption.  Alas, for his own soul, if these were what he sought!)Pages 104, The Scarlet Letter

Occasionally he will hurt me physically but a majority of the time he will hurt me mentally. I see that he is enjoying hurting me and has no plans to stop making me feel bad anytime soon. He just continues to eat at my guilty conscience. I am pretty sure that he is using some of these methods from this site, http://marriage.ygoy.com/mental-and-emotional-abuse/ .

My body cannot take any more of his “treatments” that are supposed to be “helping” me heal. I feel like I want to kill myself. I found myself outside where Hester stood seven years ago. If feel like I should have stood up here with them, but I was terrified to up there that dreadful day. This guilty conscience has caused me to look frail and sickly and caused me to try and whip myself. I need to find a way to get away from this strange doctor who is continuing to torment me. I need to meet up with Hester and find out what we need to do because I am sure that I will die in the care of this man.

We finally got to see the Reverend again the other day.  Well I did not talk to him much, but mother did.  One of the mistresses, who I heard was going to be executed soon, was telling me about someone called “the black man.” “The black man” is apparently the reason Mother wears that letter on her chest.  The reverend must of met “the black man” at some point, because he is always grabbing his chest; it is almost as if he has one of those letters on his heart, but what do I know.  So mother and I went for a walk in the forest to see him.  While I was playing with the animals, they follow me for some reason, that Reverend must have tricked mother into taking the letter off of her chest.  This was so strange because she has never taken the letter off.  I asked her “Why doth the minister sit yonder?” and she told me “He waits to welcome thee,” she said “come now and entreat his blessing! He loves thee, my little Pearl, and loves thy mother, too. Wilt thou not love him? Come he longs to greet thee!” I was pretty skeptical about him loving us so I asked mother, “Will he go back with us, hand in hand, we three together, into the town?” (Hawthorne, 167)  She said he would not today, but he will be with us in a few days.  But if he cannot even walk with us into town for the next few days, then I will not talk to him for the next few days.  Mother says that we are to leave for Europe on a ship within the next few days!  I hope that we do not have to miss Election Day; it is our only holiday of the year.  I still do not see why we cannot just stay in one of the colonies.  We could even live in the wild, on our own.  I saw this cool link on how to build a log cabin all on your own! http://tinyhouseblog.com/construction-articles/build-your-own-tiny-log-cabin-part-2/ Sadly I looked over the list of items we would need, and I do not think most of those exist.

The strangest thing happened the other night.  Me and mother were walking home late at night, and we passed by that scaffold in the middle of the market place.  And standing there alone was that Minister that Mother hasn’t dared to speak to in years.  He was just standing there all alone so we decided to walk up and join him.  A few minutes passed and almost as bright as the sun, an enormous “A” shone in the sky.  The moment that happened I just knew He belonged with me and mother.  I asked him “Wilt thou stand here with mother and me, to-morrow noontide?” and he had the nerve to say “Nay; not so, my little Pearl.” (Hawthorne, 122) I will not speak to him until he can walk into town with mother and me so that everyone can see.   A few days later mother decided to talk to that hideous, evil, old man; so I decided to go play by the water with my friends.  I decided to make a dress out of things I found by the water; I even made an “A” out of seaweed so I could be just like mother.  I do not think she liked it though.  I asked her what it meant but she still refuses to tell me.  Maybe when I get older she will tell me what it means and why she has worn it since before I can even remember.  I saw this really cool thing online about a concept people in India follow. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma It is called karma.  It means that if you do good things to others and you are not bad to one another, then good things will happen to you once you die.  It would be great if our people could think about karma every once and a while; maybe people would not be so mean to each other.

A New and Different Life

We have finally decided to leave the town and start a new life of our own together. With no distractions in it we sure can have peace and be a happy family. Roger came on later offering Dimmesdale medication which was not needed and so he was dismissed. Today is the big day for the townspeople as it is a national holiday as well as for Dimmesdale as he is about to give his sermon to the townspeople.

The governor is about to take office. Pearl and I decided to go to the market place and witness the occasion. Surprisingly Pearl sees Dimmesdale and does not recognize him. Unfortunately the captain of the ship told us that Chillingworth will be on the ship joining our party. And also the ship needs a doctor. That message got me so pissed off and surprised. Rev. Dimmesdale just started his sermon which I know is expected to be the best of all sermons and one of the most holy from the amount of congregation gathered around the market place and the church. He was not in a good condition. He was very ill and could not even walk straight.  I was stunned to see Dimmesdale actually stop at the scaffold requesting that we stand up with him up there. “Hester,” said he, “come hither! Come, my little Pearl!” I immediately accepted it and Pearl was so happy to know that this man was his father. She hugged him and did not even want to let go of him. It was very emotional.

Dimmesdale confessed and even show his self-inflicted (A) mark on his chest. Chillingworth was mad to see the Rev. confessing as he took it as his duty to torture and inflict all type of pain on the man who had a child with his wife. Dimmesdale was extremely ill and as he finished confessing died there on the scaffold. I know he died with a light heart and clear conscience. I was caught up in a really grieving purpose. I consulted the internet and found help from a website http://www.helpguide.org/mental/helping_grieving.htm  A year after the tragic incidence evil Chillingworth seeing that he has no purpose in the world dies. He left all his property with Pearl in New England. I disappeared with Pearl and she is now grown up. I returned back to the town and most of the women would come to me for counseling.

Image source: http:// weldingapa.teacherblogit.com

My Last words (ch.20-24)

        My illness has gotten worse. I really don’t think i can leave with this sin. I ran into Hester the other day, and was really happy because i have been thinking of her.  She tells me to meet her in the forest the next day, because she has something important to tell me.  I went to the forest where my Hester and pearl where waiting for me. I wounderd what was so important that she wanted to meet me in such a secretive area as the forest.  What she told me was unbelievable. The so called doctor Mr. chillingworth was her husband. This all makes sense to me now, the fact he has only wanted to live with me so he can torture me for what i have done. That is the work of the devil i never trusted him, and knew he was always up to something.  Hester tells me that we should go to Europe to live their, because it has a better environment for my health, and we could live a good life. She says she nows a ship crew member that will depart for England. I was pleased with her deaccession, and would do anything for us three to stay together. When i got home i told Mr. chillingworth that i will not be needing him any more , but i kept the secret of his identity to my self. Election day is coming up, and i plan on giving one of the best sermons. I write a couple of sermons, but i wasn’t truly satasfied., now i got it I put my heart, and experiences from my sin to this sermon. Election day is here, and i am giving my sermon speech i couldnt believe how moving it was for the crowd.  When it was all done, and people where leaving i called over Hester and pearl. God has touched my soul, and it was time for people to now the truth i couldn’t hold it in any longer.”For thee and Pearl, be it as God shall order,” said the minister “and God is merciful!  Let me now do the will which He hath made plain before my sight(pg.199). God is calling my name so i repented for my sin, and said goodbye to my loved ones.

Dag Dawit

Image link: http://catherinebushplays.com/the-scarlet-letter.html

Today was a weird day.  We finally left that disgusting place.  Mother and I rarely pass that rose bush near the door, but today we did, and we didn’t come back.  We moved out to this small cottage on the outskirts of town, which is good because I don’t care for anyone in the town.  I don’t know why everyone in the town is so mean.  It is like we cannot even go for a walk through the town without being heckled at by everyone, including the elderly and even other children.  Everyone is so fascinated with that letter my mother wears on her chest; I think it is because she hand made it, because all kinds of people have been stopping by to ask her to make her something.  None of her work so far is as good as the letter she wears. I wish she would stop taking to that old man they call Chillingworth, he really scares me and he keeps glaring at me as if he is trying to recognize me.  I do like that reverend though, he is definitely hiding something from everyone and it is obviously tearing him up inside.  How does no one notice?  Gosh! Everyone around me is so stupid!  I wish we could just leave this place and go somewhere where the people aren’t so cruel to one another.  Me and mother went over to the Governors house today.  Mother had some loud argument with the Governor and the Reverend.  Whatever it was about, it got Mother really upset; she even got on her knees and begged to the Reverend, and he gave her what she wanted.  It is so obvious they love each other.  I saw this really cool website about a place where they do not judge people.  http://www.visitpa.com/ They are saying that everyone is welcome and they are truly religiously free.  That would be so nice I hate all of this god stuff everyone keeps trying to teach me.