I can’t believe that the Reverend just confessed that he has committed adultery with Hester. I knew something was going on with them, i heard from the townspeople that they were going back to England, so i offered to go on the trip because the ship needed a doctor. When Hester found out she was furious. Later on that day we went to the sermon that the reverend was giving out for Election Day. On the way to the town hall for the feast the Reverend was acting really strange because he was limping and was going towards the scaffold where Hester and Pearl were and was standing on it with them. He was confessing to the people that he has committed a sin, adultery.  When he was done speaking he started getting worse and then he suddenly died. Now I don’t know what to do since I can’t torture Dimmesdale anymore.

Happy Ever After

      Dimmesdale the only person I have truly loved until my beautiful daughter Pearl was made from that true love. Of course just like all the other love stories there was a huge thing that was not allowing us to have a happy ever after. The reason why we could not be together as a family was because my lover the father of my child was a coward. Yes, this was the only thing hold us apart. My lover being a coward is the only thing making me and my wonderful little girl unhappy. Coward was a role my lover knew extremely well. He put me and my daughter to shame seven years ago. Yet I could not help but love the man. He was my first and only true love. Something that nothing can make me forget nor hate him for. Like Bob Marley mentions there is only “One Love.” http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/bob+marley/one+love_20277802.html

     My lover was standing on the scaffold me and my daughter Pearl once stood on seven years ago. The only difference was that he was facing the moonlight not the entire town. He stood there in the dark thinking of something you could tell from the look on his face. Dimmesdale was caught off when I and Pearl walked up to the scaffold. Pearl stood between me and DImmesdale, holding each other’s hands. Pearl was finally with the both of her parents. I could not speak, I was speechless I never thought that this was possible. Since me and Dimmesdale did not say a word my little Pearl spoke. “Will you stand here with me and my mother tomorrow?”[79]  Dimmesdale responded to his only daughter “No.” My little Pearl tried to pull her little hand away from her father. Dimmesdale would not allow it he held a tight grip on Pearl’s little hand. My little girl asked again ‘Will you take my hand and my mother’s hand tomorrow at noon?” Dimmesdale answered, “Not then, but I will take your hand another time.” “When?” asked Pearl. [79]  Dimmesdale said that we would stand together on Judgment Day.

     Since the last time we were together we agreed on meeting to discuss our situation. Dimmesdale looked so much different. He seemed so much healthier he seemed happy. Finally the man of my life looked happy. I had to confess the secret I was hold onto for Chillingworth. I told Dimmesdale that Chillingworth was my husband and that he was seeking revenge on him. Dimmesdale was mad that I was helping Chillingworth keep his secret. Dimmesdale was mad but he still seemed happy regardless. Which made me happy as well since anything that makes him happy completes me.

     Dimmesdale and I agreed to run away with Pearl and finally be happy after all we have gone through. We both were more then happy of the fact that we were finally going to be together without having to hide our love and affection towards each other. The next day I went to talk to the captain of the boat that me and Dimmesdale agreed to escape on. This was when my happiness was just torn off my heart. Chillingworth was on the boat talking to the captain. I felt as if my life was ending. I talked to the captain everything was still going to be done as planned. I went towards the scaffold with Pearl. Dimmesdale was giving his speech. He was happier than he has ever been. After his wonderful speech he finally confessed our sin. He took all his responsibility. He showed me to everyone the crowd was in shock. As Dimmesdale called me and Pearl up he fainted. The love of my life was dying before my eyes. He was my happiness. Without him around I will never be happy. After his death me and Pearl had to move I could not handle being there any longer. Chillingworth died after Dimmesdale. Me and my Pearl are living are lives as best as we can. I can say there is no “Happy Ever After” in my book. Till this day I wear my red scarlet letter  A.   http://skreened.com/identitee/atheism-scarlet-letter-a-symbol

Beyond More Than The Red A

        “Pearl, is a name that many people think shows calm, peace, and purity.”[53] This is why I named my little girl Pearl. Explains very well the way I feel towards her. The way this lovely little human being makes me feel every day I am with her. Just to imagine someone trying to take all of this away from me. Just the simple thought is unbearable. I would never allow it. Never really thought someone would be that heartless to even think of the act. I was terribly wrong.

     Four years later, I had to go to the mansion of the Governor’s to deliver a pair of gloves that he had ordered. I decorated the gloves with the finest of stitching so that the Governor could wear them for special occasions. Sadly delivering the gloves was not the only reason for my invite. I have heard many people mention the fact that they should take Pearl away from me. In their eyes I seemed as an unfit mother, for my little Pearl. The townspeople thought that someone with better morals should raise Pearl. In this case I had to convince the Governor that I was more than fit to raise my own child. For this very important occasion I dressed my little Pearl up in a new dress.

   As I walked into the room with my baby Pearl, I saw Governor Bellingham and the Reverend John Wilson, the leaders of the Boston church. As I walked further in the room I could not help but notice that there were two more people in their presence. Which were Reverend Dimmesdale and Roger Chillingworth. Dimmesdale seemed much worse than the last time I have seen him. Chillingworth just seem evil. He had this dark scary look in his eyes. His eyes reminded me of Freddy Krueger’s eyes in a scary way. http://www.empireonline.com/100-greatest-movie-characters/default.asp?c=95 The meeting started and they asked a couple things to Pearl. My little girl is a very unique way of behaving around certain people. If she feels under pressure she makes sure she reacts the opposite way that someone would normally do. Which in a way makes her very interesting in my eyes but, than again she is my little girl. I had to go against the Governor to actually get my point across. I even had to yell at Dimmesdale to stand up for once and defend me. Which he did if it was not that he spoke up I would have not left that place with Pearl. Finally after so long Dimmesdale came through and played the hero card on both I and Pearl.

   After almost four years there was no one in the town that knew Chillingworth’s secret. The fact that he was my husband, no one even had a slight idea of where this odd man came from. Yet they trusted him and his “doctor” act. Chillingworth was determined to get revenge on the father of Pearl. I was the only witness to these obsessions. I am more than scared that Chillingworth might hurt my loving Dimmesdale. Only time can tell how this whole mess will end up. Only time can heal the cuts that Dimmesdale has left in my heart. Only time can help fade the disappointment I feel towards Dimmesdale.  

I am pretty sure that this doctor that has been praised as a healer is trying to kill me. And I do not even know why he would want to kill me. Every day he has come in the tower where I was staying and torments my soul every day. (He now dug into the poor clergyman’s heart, like a miner searching for gold; or, rather, like a sexton delving into a grave, possibly in quest of a jewel that had been buried on the dead man’s bosom, but likely to find nothing save mortality and corruption.  Alas, for his own soul, if these were what he sought!)Pages 104, The Scarlet Letter

Occasionally he will hurt me physically but a majority of the time he will hurt me mentally. I see that he is enjoying hurting me and has no plans to stop making me feel bad anytime soon. He just continues to eat at my guilty conscience. I am pretty sure that he is using some of these methods from this site, http://marriage.ygoy.com/mental-and-emotional-abuse/ .

My body cannot take any more of his “treatments” that are supposed to be “helping” me heal. I feel like I want to kill myself. I found myself outside where Hester stood seven years ago. If feel like I should have stood up here with them, but I was terrified to up there that dreadful day. This guilty conscience has caused me to look frail and sickly and caused me to try and whip myself. I need to find a way to get away from this strange doctor who is continuing to torment me. I need to meet up with Hester and find out what we need to do because I am sure that I will die in the care of this man.

“I Didn’t Deserve This”                                                                                                              

I was walking with Pearl in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep so Pearl and I got dress and went for a middle night walk. While we were walking around we saw a light in the sky that looked like an A. I saw Dimmesdale on the scaffold looking at the sky. I looked at Pearl and she wants for Dimmesdale and told he if he would walk with her tomorrow on the scaffold. I was looking straight in to his eyes when he refused to walk will her. Once time in my life I thought about killing Pearl and I. I want to see Chillingworth to see if he will let me tell Dimmesdale the secret, which I will tell him that he is my husband. I was pleased to hear what he told me. He gave me permission to tell Dimmesdale his secret. I was ready to tell Dissesdale his secret, so I got ready and when looking to him.

I have been searching on the internet for the best site to tell a person you care a secret in a nice way. I was nervous to tell Dimmesdale Chillingworth’s secret because I have never kept a secret from someone and then had to tell it to someone. www.experienceproject.com is the website that I found I way to tell a secret to someone you care some much, more than Chillingworth. A quote that I have found was when Pearl asks Heaster why she has an A on her, Why do you wear the letter, Why does the minister keep his hands over his heart. (91) That’s what I wonder about Dimmesdale and Chillingworth

Now this is the next chapter of my life. My Father left the forest before me and my mother. On his way back to town, he thought about the secret plan of his and hester. The thought that europe would provides a better life for  us. The weather would be better for dimmesdale’s health. He also knew that i would be going to the good schools in the country. My mother was going to secretly buy two tickets for herself and my father, and then then one childs ticket for me. Our ship was scheduled to leave four days later. Dimmesdale was very excited about that. He had to make an election day sermon the day before our ship was scheduled to leave. He wanted to do all of his duties before he left to england. All the excitement and reliefe caused him to have the most energy that he has had in the past few years. three day laters it was election day. My mother and I went to the town to see the event.  My mother was filled with excitement and joy, she wore her usual grey colored clothes. My mother also wore her letter. I dressed in nice colorful clothes as usual. The town was full of strangers. I asked my mother why?  I asked why so many people were off of work. My mom told me that the parade tp celebrate the new governer was passing through our town. I Said to my mother ” Oh good, Mother. Then will the minister come stand with us and hold our hands in front of everyone. my mother said that he will be here but we will not speak ot each other. I told my mother that he is a strange man. The crowd was filled with all sorts of people. My Father finally stepped up to make his speech. The energy from his speech went away. He whispered to my mother and i and told us to come to him. i knew something was wrong. My father died a few minutes later after telling us his final words. I was never so sad in my life.

No one can break up the people who love each other, like this I couldn’t separate Hester from Dimmesdale.  Actually Dimmesdale should reveal his sin, but God keep helping him, helping them to stay together. I know they love each other, but anyways I jealous that sinner Dimmesdale, he shouldn’t be with Hester, because I still love her, I want to protect her. One day, Dimmesdale and Hester talked in the forest, they talked about how to handle the Election Day, they planned to runaway to the Europe which is the place they used to live, I knew when, where they leave from here. In the Election Day, everybody went to there, includes children, government people, puritans, Hester, Pearl and me. First we stood there and watched the oncoming parade, right, Dimmesdale also in the group of that parade. Pearl and Hester keep looking at them and appreciate what’s happening there. After a while, captain went to talk to Hester and let her knew that I will go with them in that ship. Hester shocked after she heard this bad news. When Dimmesdale walking in this group of people, Pearl recognized he’s a man who kissed her in the forest and she said it loudly. Everything is going well as I thought, this time everybody knows who is Pearl’s father and who really did bully, run away from Hester for seven years and let her took those risks. “I’m a dying man, so now, before it’s too late, I’ll take your shame away from you and put it onto me!” (#121)Finally, Dimmesdale, Hester and Pearl stood on the scaffold, he took off his shirt and show everyone what is on his chest. Everybody shocked about that, because there’s Letter “A” on his chest, I have been tried to force him to reveal what he did before and let him tell his secret to me, but he never tell anything to me, so this is what he should get now. He lost townspeople’s respect, because people knew the truth. At last he died on Hester’s arm, Pearl became a richest girl in this town and married. Many years later, Hester wore her Letter ”A” again. It became a bad tragedy.http://vrushlow7811.edublogs.org/2008/07/18/scarlet-letter-chapters-20-24/

 After meeting Reverend Dimmesdale in the forest, I was feeling extremely happy.  In just four days, we would be leaving with Pearl to start our new life together.  The three of us are planning to leave Boston for England.  The boat will set sail in four days and Reverend Dimmesdale and I cannot wait to be free from our sins and start a life together where no one knows about the “A” and what it stands for.  After seven years of the towns people staring and talking bad about me, I can finally enjoy life with my family.  All we need to do is get through the next four days and get on the boat for England.

The day before we leave is know as Election Day and Reverend Dimmesdale will give the sermon.  This is a highlight in a minister’s career.  The morning of Election Day, all the towns people were gathering for the sermon.  Pearl and I went to hear Reverend Dimmesdale.  Pearl was excited to see Reverend Dimmesdale and told me she wanted to go give him a kiss, like they do in the forest.  I told Pearl that the things we do and talk about in the forest, are not to be talked about in public.  Only the three of us will know what goes on.  Reverend Dimmesdale gave the best sermon of his career and all the townspeople were impressed with what he said.  After the sermon, Reverend Dimmesdale walked over to Pearl and I and said “Come here, Hester.  Come here,  little Pearl” (120).  Reverend Dimmesdale, holding Pearl’s hand, and I climbed the scaffold together for everyone to see.  Reverend Dimmesdale told everyone what he had done and that Pearl was his daughter.

I did not know what to feel.  Everything was happening so quickly.  After Reverend Dimmesdale tore open his shirt and everyone could she the “A” burned into his chest, he collapsed.  Pearl kissed her father and I knelt beside him asking him “Will we meet again?  will we be together forever in the afterlife” (123)?  Reverend Dimmesdale died on the scaffold while the whole town watched.

When I was planning our trip to England, I would always look on websites for England to plan where we would go and live.  This is my favorite site on England is http://crowsneste2010.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/dimmesdale_by_xmasterxyodax900x.jpg.

Image source: http://crowsneste2010.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/dimmesdale_by_xmasterxyodax900x.jpg.

I am now at the point in my life where I feel like things will go well for me. I have my lovely lady Hester and my beautiful daughter Pearl. We have been through a lot and I can finally say that we are one. Hester took off her A to show how we are reconnected. She says she feels free. Pearl on the other hand didn’t like it. She had a fit down by the water. I hope she will be able to really connect with me. She looks so much like. I cannot believe no one could tell.

We meet in the forest far away from the people. I think it is the best place to be. That’s the only place where we could be alone. I am here at the Election Day about to preach my sermon and then we are going to leave. I think the Old World would be better to raise Pearl, “It had been determined between them that the Old World, with its crowds and cities, offered them a more eligible shelter and concealment than the wilds of New England or all America…” [168] Hester agreed so that is what we are going to do. I am actually nervous to be here at Election Day. I guess it’s because I am anticipating for later on today. I plan to show my A on the scaffold to everyone in the town. I’m not sure how that is going to go but I hope it goes well. Wish me luck!

I looked up some websites on how to deal with being nervous. The website I found was http://www.nativeremedies.com/ailment/signs-of-nervousness-info.html . I told me that I should take a deep breath by breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.  I just have to prepare myself and stop any negative thoughts that come through my mind. Be brave Dimmesdale.

We finally got to see the Reverend again the other day.  Well I did not talk to him much, but mother did.  One of the mistresses, who I heard was going to be executed soon, was telling me about someone called “the black man.” “The black man” is apparently the reason Mother wears that letter on her chest.  The reverend must of met “the black man” at some point, because he is always grabbing his chest; it is almost as if he has one of those letters on his heart, but what do I know.  So mother and I went for a walk in the forest to see him.  While I was playing with the animals, they follow me for some reason, that Reverend must have tricked mother into taking the letter off of her chest.  This was so strange because she has never taken the letter off.  I asked her “Why doth the minister sit yonder?” and she told me “He waits to welcome thee,” she said “come now and entreat his blessing! He loves thee, my little Pearl, and loves thy mother, too. Wilt thou not love him? Come he longs to greet thee!” I was pretty skeptical about him loving us so I asked mother, “Will he go back with us, hand in hand, we three together, into the town?” (Hawthorne, 167)  She said he would not today, but he will be with us in a few days.  But if he cannot even walk with us into town for the next few days, then I will not talk to him for the next few days.  Mother says that we are to leave for Europe on a ship within the next few days!  I hope that we do not have to miss Election Day; it is our only holiday of the year.  I still do not see why we cannot just stay in one of the colonies.  We could even live in the wild, on our own.  I saw this cool link on how to build a log cabin all on your own! http://tinyhouseblog.com/construction-articles/build-your-own-tiny-log-cabin-part-2/ Sadly I looked over the list of items we would need, and I do not think most of those exist.