Realization

Have you thought of being an only child in your family?  I felt like an only child when I was small.  I overheard my parents talking about bringing someone from Honduras when they thought that I was asleep.”OK they’re going to come this month or so” said my mother quietly so that she would wake me or my little sister up but what she didn’t know was that I was wide awake. In my head I was wondering who it was because I didn’t have that much family in the U.S so, knowing that someone was coming was exciting for me.  Being the little kid I was, I didn’t know who they were going to bring so I busted into their room like a wild animal to see if I could ask them who they were talking about, unfortunately they were furious with me and said “go to sleep!”  but still in a silent voice because if they didn’t they would’ve woken up little sister if they didn’t since she was about five feet away from their bed,  They said that they were going to tell me another day. By the time they told me it was summer and they said that they were already on their way but I didn’t believe them.  We prepared a surprise party in what I thought was a small apartment, which I didn’t understand why we were doing that.

 

  My uncle was at home taking care of my sister and I, while my mom was “supposedly” doing an errand. I remember that my uncle had a bit of a grin on his face when he came over to our home. When my parents got home I thought they were home from an errand but I was wrong, they brought people behind them. My mom presented my sisters to me but I argued that they weren’t my sisters “they look nothing like me” I said in somewhat loud voice “Yes they do Christopher!” my mother yelled at me and I saw that she was getting irritated with me by the tone of her voice and how her face was getting red and I replied with a smug  look on my face“whatever”.  Looking at it now it was so disrespectful and I should’ve just stayed quiet and gone to my room without saying a single word.  I was in denial that whole day while my sisters,my aunt, and my uncle were having a blast.

I was getting used to sharing because my little sister was born two years before this happened.  Sharing things with a two year old wasn’t that much of a change since they can’t really speak and make a lot of their own decisions.  I was going through many emotions, at one point I felt loneliness and sadness, like I was alone in  darkness and no one cared for me.  I felt like this because my mother didn’t really pay attention to me and would always go on errands with my twin sisters, for that reason I felt hatred and I sometimes felt like punching things.  Back then I didn’t understand that the world didn’t revolve around me,  and my mom was just catching up with my sisters and buying them clothes for school.  I didn’t like being home all day with nothing to do except watch tv and hoping my parents would come home at that moment.  Inside of me I felt a little bit of hatred towards my sisters for taking away my mother as if they were my enemies,  like if it was a war between me and her. To implement hatred towards them I would usually back talk to them in a rude tone or mock them. Yeni or Sara would say”You wanna go to the store” and I would most likely say “You wanna go to the store” or “I don’t like you guys” in a small voice with a smug look usually looking down at the ground.

 

If  My mother asked me if I would like to go to the store or a place my most of my  responses would be “absolutely” because I felt like.  Once they were here for about two weeks, things died down and I felt a part of the family again because my parents wouldn’t be constantly on errands.  That was at the point where I realized that they weren’t out to seize all the spotlight.I learned that they were my sisters, and I shouldn’t think of the many ways to get rid of my sisters.  I had an epiphany that my mother loved all of the same.  The one event that made me realize this was when I was playing outside with a pair of new roller skates that my mother bought me and that she bought one of my sisters “Sara”.  I tripped and slid a couple of feet scraping most of my knee.  At the time I was really scared of blood and needles so seeing all this blood coming out of my knee was traumatizing. I was in shock and didn’t know what to do, so Sara got a some cloth to cover my scrape and I tell by the expression on her face that she didn’t know what to do. My mom came down to the sidewalk with supplies to help cleanse the wound. ‘What happened’ she said but I was to nervous and scared to tell her what happened .She held me tight with her warm and soft arms and then it struck, my mom didn’t just care about my sisters, she cared for all of her children and my sisters also cared about me.

 

After that month of my sisters being at our house I wasn’t really jealous of my sisters.  They were really nice to me and I didn’t have any really big fights after that we had small fights like who got to take a shower first and minor things. These fights would usually go like this, “Mom, Christopher doesn’t let me get the tv remote!” they would scream very loudly and get mad at me with a very angry and red face, but we never got into any fights were we wouldn’t speak to each other.  Although I disliked that I wasn’t the oldest and I didn’t get the privileges I used to have it was, also good for me in a positive way because I didn’t have to  do a lot of the chores anymore.  They were also a role model to me because they were the oldest now and they now had set an example for me.

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