Raised by Wolves The Best There Ever Was An American Idiot I Write Sins, Not Tragedies Over and over You're the First of the Last to go But Now You're Gone Forever Levitate now you're Coming Back Down Here We Go Again If You're Sick of It Make It Stop can you Hear Me Now, Washername?
Author Archives: bm12819
The day is here The plan falls together You're filled with fear But excitement your is greater It all makes sense Nothing's been clearer You found your path You needn't wait any longer What waits at the end, no one knows You've waited too long To let this moment go
Don’t Forget
“Adios,” he said, as he turned to leave. It was a final goodbye, and I was left speechless by how nonchalant he was. I was likely to never see him again for the rest of my life, we both knew that, but we also both knew that crying and clinging onto each other wouldn’t be able to keep us together. He climbed into the waiting car, bag slung over his shoulder.
“Remember your promise!” I called after him. He said nothing, but I know he heard. Don’t forget me, ‘kay?
~Fin.
Rebirthing
Raised by Wolves;
The Best There Ever Was
an American Idiot,
I Write Sins, Not Tragedies
Over and over,
you're the First of the Last to Go.
But Now
you're Gone Forever
If You're Sick of It
Make It Stop
can you Hear Me Now,
Whatsername?
Levitate
now you're Coming Back Down
Here We Go
Again
I'm Looking For Angels,
your Chalk Outline.
Comatose,
but I'm Free Now
They said it ain't cool to drop out of school They say "Stay out late and the punishment will be straight" We do what they call "sin" We speak through a malicious grin We won't stay locked up till June Most of us anyway, will die pretty soon
The Last of Us
Left alone No way home Living without a real life Broken, lost a twisting knife shattered blade Iron Bite A rim of red to soot black eyes Never got to say goodbye
Event Drawing
"What color is your blood?" "FOOL! Black ink flows through my veins! Its absorbed through my skin and seeps through my brains! The black ink is always there It bleeds on the page Blurring my thoughts with a blackened rage The ink speaks on its own Stamping bullets, The blood of pages shown." Inspired by Evening Drawing by Paul Sietsema
Trust Issues
I recounted my money, cursing the prices of the theater. Why was everything so expensive? It was ridiculous, who ever heard of twelve dollars for a ticket? I glanced out the glass doors. What if they didn’t show up? What if they got here too late, and the movie sold out? I had gone through too much to get here to be tripped up by such silly things.
It was dim in the Regal Cinemas lobby. The only light was the pre-summer sun filtering through the polished glass doors. I rocked back in forth on my feet, growing more agitated as the minutes ticked away.
I finally saw TJ pull up in front of the doors, and I looked away, trying to hide the fact that I was worried that he wouldn’t show up. He smiled at Selena and I, and I smiled back. We stood around in an awkward silence, unsure of what to say to each other.
“Where’s Soren?” I finally asked, breaking the silence. “He should be here by now.” Selena and T.J. shrugged.
“Well speak of the devil and he will appear.” Soren pushed his way through the heavy glass doors.
“Hey, guys!” he said, with a calm smile on his face.
“He-ey,” Selena and I chorused simultaneously. We went through the barrier and headed to the room in which they were screening Man of Steel.
As we walked into the dark room, I thought about how hard I worked to get here. I scanned the crowd of people already in the theater. I smiled as I realized that they hadn’t gone through with their threat.
“So…Summer’s almost here…” Selena said lazily, slumped over her lunch in the cafeteria.
“I can’t wait for school to finish,” I said. “But I’m gonna miss all you guys.” A grim smile was shared by the people at our table.
It was June. We had three weeks left of school, and I couldn’t wait to be free of this prison. I looked forward to spend hours lazing on the beach.
We sat mostly in silence, except for a small bit of idle chatter about nothing of real importance. I didn’t want the year to go out like this. I wanted to remember my friends throughout the Summer.
“Why don’t we go see a movie?” I asked. It was merely a suggestion, but already the cogs in my brain began to turn and formulate a plan. Soren shrugged.
“Why not?” he said.
We spent the next few days planning. We weren’t quite sure what movie we were to see, but so far, the Internship seemed like the leading option. TJ, Soren, and Selena had already gotten permission from their parents. All that was left was for me to get my parents’ consent. I had hesitated, putting it off day by day. I was worried that my parents would say no.
They will never say no if you don’t ask. My elder brother, Syd, had told me that once many years ago, though I doubted that it would save me from my parents’ wrath if I failed to notify them about the upcoming event. I feared if they said no, everything would become final. I would sit at home on a very sad Friday afternoon while my friends enjoyed themselves.
I sighed heavily, trying to calm myself before I proposed the idea to my parents. I had made an attempt to be well behaved over the past few days, so it wouldn’t appear as if I was only being well behaved to meet my own ends. This was a common concern in my household, as I was neither the most honest or hard working person.
My parents sat on our couch, discussing their jobs and how their day was. I leaned on the back of one of the high backed chairs, facing my parents. They didn’t acknowledge me at first, as me and my brothers often congregated around our parents without saying or doing anything before getting up and leaving after a few minutes.
I should let you know, my parents can detect my ambition and greed from over a mile away. Maybe its how my eyes harden, and a too-good-to-be-real look comes across my face. My father looked up at me.
“Yes, Carrie?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I said, deciding it would be best to wait just a few more minutes. My parents knew that I wanted something, as I did not hop up and leave after they questioned my presence, but they shrugged it off. I stood there, fidgeting like a bug, waiting for a break in the conversation.
“Um, mom, dad?” I began. They looked up at me.
“Yes?” My mom asked.
“Well, Summer’s almost here, and I was wondering…” I took a deep breath. “I was wondering if I could go to the movies with my friends.” My parents thought for a moment. I knew that they were considering every option. I also knew that they’d be fair, and that they wouldn’t make excuses as to why I couldn’t go. To tell the truth, that’s the outcome that scared me the most. Because they would say no only if there was an unshiftable event in the near future.
“Who’re you planning on going with?” my mom asked.
“Uh, you know, Selena, TJ, those guys,” I said, shifting in my seat.
“We’ll have to think about it,” my dad said. I nodded. Not wanting to dwell, I got up and went upstairs, speculating the outcome.
“So, mom, can I go?” I asked the next morning.
“Maybe. Your dad has a meeting that day and I don’t know if he’d be able to drive you. And who all is going again?”
“Selena, TJ, and Soren,” I said. My mom frowned.
“It sounds a lot like a double date to me.” I face palmed. Sometimes it was as if my mom forgot that I was merely twelve, and had no interest in dating at the time.
“Um, no, mom. Its not a double date. Its just Soren and TJ.” My mind raced on how I could persuade my mother otherwise.
“I’ll have to discuss it with your father. He has a meeting that day and we don’t know if he’d be able to get you to the movies,” my mother said simply, and I left the topic alone.
I tried desperately to be good over the next few days. I made wild half-successful attempts to be kind to my younger brother. I cleaned every mess I came across. I sat up straight and used manners to the best of my ability. I thought I was doing pretty good, but I had missed one small black mark that could ruin everything.
“We found out about you Facebook, Carrie.” That was all my dad had to say. I practically fell over. I had completely forgotten about that. I had gotten a Facebook in the beginning of the year, and I had kept it a secret from my parents. I knew that they would say no to it, so I got it without asking. But, I had quickly discovered that Facebook would be too bothersome to continue on and had quickly abandoned it. I hadn’t been on it since before Christmas.
“What?” I tried to play clueless. I hadn’t included my full name, just Carrie G. I had avoided putting up pictures of me on my page. How had my dad found out?
“Carrie, we thought we could trust you…” my dad said. “I typed in your name in the search bar, and your Facebook page was the very first thing that came up.” I wanted to run away. I wanted to deny everything. It was like being caught with your hand in the cookie jar. How was I going to get out of this one?
“I haven’t used it in forever!” I exclaimed. “I got it, but decided it would be too hard to keep up with, so I stopped using it!”
“Carrie, we got you that kindle so you could read. Not use the internet.” Lovely. Just to add to it, they thought I was using my kindle. I had actually used the school computers, but I didn’t want to push it with my dad.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, kissing my trip to the movies good-bye.
“Carrie, we need to know that we can trust you.” I glanced up at my dad, and was shocked to see that he didn’t seem angry or anything. Just a little upset. I apologized again, and restated that it had remained untouched for months.
“Carrie,” my parents called me into the living room. I walked in, knowing exactly what they would say. I appeared to be void of emotion, allowing them to tell me themselves instead of hinting that I had heard their conversation through the floorboards upstairs.
“We’ve talked it over and decided to let you go,” my dad said. I allowed a smile.
“Thank you so much!” I said.
“BUT,” my mother began. “You have to sit next to Selena. None of this boy-girl-boy-girl thing.”
“We might just send Syd with you,” my father said, only half joking. Syd, who was walking by, stuck his head in.
“Just what exactly am I being signed on to?” he asked.
“Nothing, Syd,” my parents chorused. He gave us a suspicious look, and continued his march to the kitchen.
I smiled that my parents hadn’t followed through with one of their previous threats of setting Syd up in the seats. We went up towards the top seats. Soren sat to my right and Selena to my left. I ended up giving my popcorn to Soren, as I was full.
My eyes stung from the light as we exited the theater once the movie had ended. We all hugged and order one another to keep in touch (something all of us were not good at). As Selena and I got in her car and left, I looked back at my other two friends, waving good-bye to us. And I realized, I would miss them more than I thought.
But not as much as I would miss being trusted when my parents found out that we saw Man of Steel instead of the Internship.