Solving my Problems

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I know I’m scared of 3 things and each probably has a memory it stemmed off of.The first is being stranded in an unfamiliar place. The second is being someone else. The third is being alone. I’m hoping to find where these fears came from in this essay.

The first fear is always at the back of my mind. What would I if all the people I knew disappeared or worse, never existed? What if one day I woke up in a house that I’ve never seen before and realized later on that I was the only person on Earth? If anything I’d go insane after a couple of days. I think this fear would probably come from me having siblings that I care about. All my life I’ve never been completely alone for more than a hour. It would feel like I was at the bottom of the ocean. I would be a hermit at the bottom of the ocean. That would be awful.

The second fear is something I ponder at times. I’m happy with my life and body. I would never replace the life I have if I ever had the choice. I wouldn’t even trade my life for a celebrities or billionaires life. I could never give up my family or friends. I could also never give up all the things I learned throughout my life. I could also never give up the bad things that happens in life. Those make me a better and stronger person.

The third fear is more passive because I only really feel it after awhile of being alone. I always thought that if I went to college, I would either be in a dorm with a roommate or living with my mom. This probably stems off of growing up with brothers and a dog. Most of the time I don’t mind it but after awhile of thinking it gets to me.

I’m glad I wrote this because after lots of heavy thinking I found out I care about my family and friends and that I’m happy with who I am. Fears can help you find yourself. Now I feel like a stronger person.

38 Lines of Pain

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As a child, I was afraid

of the roller coasters that were displayed

in the park

almost as much as great white sharks

the first time I went on,

I just had ate a bag of pecans

I got on the coaster,

it was called the “super mega roaster”

I got off 5 minutes later,

and threw up all over the curator,

and after that

I didn’t trust the rides, even less than my cat

roller coasters just make me wary

like that weird creep called Larry

ever since I’ve been so scared

of those rickety tracks that I compared

to metal death traps

that murder and zap

for 2 years I didn’t ride

but very, very deep inside

I had a desire

and I grew less shyer

finally I tried to go

in my gut there was a hollow

but even so, I boarded

And my fear? That I warded

this time the ride was contrary

it felt a little bit less scary

I decided I would ride again

and this ride I managed to sustain

the belief that afterward I would be alive

and as the car began to dive

I had a joy I had not before

I shouted an excited roar

suddenly the ride was done

I felt like I had made a home run

my parents said, don’t worry dear

we will come back next year

Crazy Scary

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About two years ago, I was in fifth grade. There was a scary movie that had came out. I was destined to see it but I didn’t have the guts too. Everyone talked about it, they would say “it wasn’t that scary” but in their eyes you can see the fear they had when they watched the movie. My stomach would be in a knot when I heard the name of the movie or when people started watching the trailer over and over again. I pretended to look at the trailer but always closed an eye or looked away. Lots of people come up to me and say “hey, I loved the end of the movie!” I always nodded yes and walked away quick before they started asking me questions that I didn’t know the answers to.

After a couple of weeks, kids at my school started announcing that they had the movie at home. They started inviting kids over to their house to watch the movie. I knew I was going to get invited, but every time someone brought it up I changed the subject. It always got really loud during lunch in the cafeteria and you couldn’t even hear the person talking beside you, although when we could hear them I acted like if I couldn’t. After I had finished my food my friends decided to pull a horrible prank on me. They had got the theme song for the movie and put in right beside my ear. I freaked as soon as I heard it. I ran to the bathroom and felt really nauseous. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought a ghost would pop out of it.

After a few days, my cousin Alf and Katy had moved close to where I live. I got scared because I knew they had the movie since they are obsessed with scary films. They transfer schools to my school. That day I went up to Alf and asked him “ so, well I think I shouldn’t….” I panicked, he bet me to it! “Hey, I just got this awesome scary movie, you should come over with Josue and we could all watch it. Oh yeah now my apartment has a really cool place where we can watch it, it gets really dark in their. How about today after school? Is that good for you? Hope you don’t have plans!” I nodded slowly as he gave me half a nod and walked away. All day I had been thinking about the movie and  couldn’t concentrate.

The end of the school day came fast, my brother was so happy to go. I ate lunch and sat down to watch a little bit of t.v. while the clock turned to 5 o’clock. “Up in this part of the area there will be a big thunderstorm coming so hope you guys stay inside while the storm passes by”, said the news reporter in the t.v. My brother Josue was ready to go he had already an umbrella in his hands in case the storm came. My mom gave us a bag of popcorn and then we left. It was bright outside it didn’t even look like it was going to rain. “Hey, come in! Oh lord we are going to become very fat with all this popcorn”, Alf said and as we walked to their “secret” place. It was in the biggest closet I have ever seen, but there were no windows. We sat down in a pile of clothes.

Later throughout the movie, we had really buttery popcorn and that was terribly delicious. Before the movie started Alf had turned off the lights, but later on my brother got really scared and we had turn them on again which was an advantage for me because I think I was more scared than him. The lights were bright but the back of the room was kind of dark so we had decided to move the computer to the back of the room. The computer was pretty big so it felt like a small t.v. The scariest part came,we were all close to the computer waiting for what would happen. Our eyes widen and then all of a sudden the lights turned off and even the computer. I screamed harder than I have ever screamed on a roller coaster. Alf gasped and Katy backed up and fell onto the pile of clothes. My brother got really scared and started to cry. All of us had no idea on what had just happened but, I think Alf suspected it was a very cruel joke.

“So you think this is funny?” said Alf like a red tomato about to burst. I knew that this wasn’t a joke, I could feel it something had happened that Alf didn’t know. “It was no one. Everyone got scared and so it was no one, OK don’t be blaming people on this!” I raised my voice a little bit and he decided to look outside in the living room to see what was really happening. We went outside and everything was off. I looked outside the window and the whole building had gone out of power, but even worse the terrible storm had hit. We didn’t end up watching the full movie, well probably they did, but not me or my brother. We ended our day, going into the hallway and running in the dark. Katy was laughing really hard as was my brother, but his eyes were flushed with red from crying so much. I wasn’t scared to see the trailer or say I watched the movie.  It wasn’t that hard and I was filled with courage to conquer anything that stood in my way.

Loops of Fear

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By: Hayden

 

The summer of 2014 me and some friends went to Busch Gardens, I was about 12 years old and only went on a couple roller coasters. But my friends have been telling me that Busch Gardens have the scariest roller coasters ever. I had just got into the car and I was really scared.

“Have you ever rode the Griffin I heard some fell of and plummeted 100 feet down to the ground”, said Kyle.

As soon as he said that I got really scared and didn’t know what to do. I was a scared like it was the end of the world.

“He is just joking”, said Jack. I was relieved that Jack said that.

We pulled up into the parking lot and saw the crowds of cars and I could even see how big the roller coasters were.

“ We should go to the smaller roller coasters first then hit the bigger ones later”, said Jack. I was so relieved after he said that now I have some time. We got into groups. I was paired up with my best friend Kyle and we went to the Lochness Monster the oldest roller coaster there. As we got in line my heart was beating really hard it felt like I ran a couple miles. Me and Kyle were now up to the front row and I  became really scared. As we went into our seats, I sat down and buckled up. As the rollercoaster started to move I saw all of the loops and spins and  I felt like I was going to throw up so I decided to just close my eyes and wait until the roller coaster was over. But as we got towards the end of the roller coaster it seemed like it was really fun. I decided to open my eyes and as I took a little sneak peek, it looked really awesome. As we got of the roller coaster I was really happy like I won the lottery.

“That wasnt that bad was it”, said Kyle. I told him yes it wasn’t and I was really happy because that was one of my first roller coasters. We rode it a couple more times. Then we met up with the rest of the group to have lunch at the buffet. I walked into the line and I saw all the luxurious foods and just picked up everything I could. As soon as I sat down I dove right in shoving food down my mouth. We finished all of our food and we decided to go to the scariest roller coaster there and it was called the Griffin. I was kind of scared but I knew 100 percent that I could do this.  We made our way into the line but we saw that there were a ton of people wanting to ride this amazing roller coaster. It took awhile but we made our way up into the front of the line. We got into our seats and I was really scared but I knew i could do it.

“You’re going to be fine it’s just like the Lochness Monster”, said Kyle. I went into my seat and buckled up and was ready for the roller coaster. The roller coaster started to move and I closed my eyes. All of the sudden I found out that we were going up and I opened my eyes and saw that we were inclined. Once we got  all the way to the top we stopped for about 10 seconds and the roller coaster took off. The roller coaster was as fast as a jet and it was really scary. But all the sudden I was having so much fun and when they stopped the roller coaster I knew I wanted to ride every roller coaster in this amusement park.

“That wasnt that bad, I said to my friend Kyle. Then me and Kyle went to as many roller coasters as we could before we would have to meet up with our full group. The next roller coaster we went on was called the Alpengeist and I was a little worried about this one. Since I rode a lot of the roller coaster I knew I shouldn’t be afraid of this one.  We buckled as normal and the roller coaster started moving as we started moving Kyle said that this one was probably the scariest one here. That messed up my confidence a little and my heart started to beat rapidly again. There was a lot of loops and turns and I felt like I was going to throw up. I was really happy I did not. The rest of that trip was amazing, I had tons of fun with my friends and I rode a bunch of roller coasters and got over my fear. We went back to the hotel to go to sleep after a long day of fun.

“Are we going to go back to the amusement park”, I asked in excitement.

“Yes of course we are”, Kyle had said back to me. As I was falling asleep I thought about how much fun I had overcoming my fear and how it took a lot of courage. I woke up early in the morning ready to have some more fun. I rushed to wake everybody up so we could get there early. We got in the car and made our way to the amusement park. When we went into the parking lot I saw no cars and I was really happy that we could ride a lot of more roller coasters. But there was still one roller coaster that I haven’t went on yet. We made our way to the to the roller coasters and rode a them for a while. In this trip I overcame my fear and it took a lot courage to do that.

Academic Addiction

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Academic Addiction

 

School, School

Thats all I think about

Why is it that I’m afraid of failing?

 

If I’m always doing my work

and everything

a teacher demands

I do

 

Failing is my nightmare

All I think about is school

It’s  like my addiction

why

it’s always in my mind

 

I think and think

I’m like a fan

spinning and spinning

around and around

but it’s only my mind

 

It’s my fear

But it’s pushing to the top

Maybe it’s okay

Why not

if it’s making me better

than I already am

Small Steps

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I’m afraid of heights. I always have been. I don’t want to go bungee jumping, hang gliding, sky diving, and cliff diving. But I’ll tell you how I’m slowly overcoming my fear.

I’m still warming up to roller coasters, but the ones I’ve ridden I’ve enjoyed. The first time I rode a roller coaster, it was at Six Flags Over Georgia. the roller coaster was called the Georgia Cyclone. It was one of the biggest wooden roller coasters at that Six Flags.

Another experience I had that helped me slowly conquer my fear of heights, was again at Six Flags. But this time, instead of roller coasters, it was a free-fall ride. I think that that ride helped me a little bit, because it went up to about 100 – 150 feet. After my first time riding the free-fall, then I wanted to ride it again, and again.

My final example for how I showed courage was when I walked across an arch in Arches National Park.The arch was about 5 or 6 feet wide, and about 150 – 200 feet off the ground. Right below us were dangerous boulders.
I’ve been afraid of heights for as long for as I can remember. These are examples of the small steps I’ve been taking. I also hope that I’ll keep making small steps to increase my courage.

The Future shows Why

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Vash Young once said “All my life I had feared to-morrow, until I decided to have faith and to live to-day in courage.” This means that Vash Young is saying that she was always afraid of what could happen in the future but you have to have faith and courage and live in the present because who knows what is going to happen in the future. Failing is my biggest fear because my future depend on what I do in the present.

Not having enough money can make a really big impact on whether you go to college or not. For example you need a lot of money to pay off to go to college except if you have a scholarship. This means if I don’t get a scholarship it will be extremely hard for me to get into college, since my parents don’t have enough money to actually pay for college. To go to college you will need a lot of money or have a lot of determination to be successful and be excellent at school you can get a scholarship.

Your future is very dependent on whether you have an education or not and if you fail at school your dreams can be shattered. For example if you are not good enough to go to college, then you wont have an education and you wont have the life that you wanted. This means that your future is dependent on the what you do in the present. If you fail in life your future will be like a mirror of what happened because of your failure.

Failing today will affect my tomorrow. Failing can affect your opportunity to go to college and as a result can affect your life. Your future is dependent on a lot of things. For example money has a very big impact on whether or not you go to college and your determination for success also has a very big impact on whether you go to college or not. If you go to college that has an impact on what your future can be. Fear is not an obstacle it’s just another reason to keep trying.

The Ride

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“We’re here!” Their teacher Mr. Smith exclaimed as the bus pulled up to the curve.
“We’ve been driving for ever!” A student exclaimed. They had been driving down the highway for over an hour, the driver opened the door and let the warm breeze into the bus. The students climbed off the bus chatting excitedly about the day ahead.
“Get into your assigned groups every one.” Mr. Smith shouted over all of the commotion. The students broke into their groups continuing to talk about what they wanted to get done.
“Is everyone in your group accounted for?” He asked the class.
“Yes.” They replied in unison.
“OK then onward into the park.” Mr. Smith shouted.
“The students cheered and went racing into the park leaving the parking lot deserted.
John and his group dashed into the park, leaving the rest of the class and heading for some of the smaller rides on the other side of the park. When they got there they went on several rides and got soaked.
“Hey, guys lets go on that one!” Quin said pointing to the largest roller coaster in the park. They speed toward it before anyone could object. They scurried through the empty line and to the front they all hopped in except for John, he looked up at the ride and got an uneasy feeling in his stomach.
“What’s wrong John.” Megan said from the front car.
“I”m afraid of heights.” he mumbled back
“That’s OK,” she replied, “I used to be scared of heights but then I ….”
The roller coaster started its ascent cutting her off mid sentence.

A minute later they came rolling back, the ride was over. Their adrenalin was rushing through their bodies, they wanted to go on more rides. They rushed past John and to the next one they got on and took off. John slowly walked to the next ride and stood there peering down at his shoes until they rushed past him and got on another ride after this they came up to him and said,
“Are you having fun?”
“No.” He stammered.
“Well what do you want to do?” They asked.
“I don’t know,” He responded,
“Lets go on one that’s not so tall.”“Shore!” They responded cheerfully.
They wandered around the park until they found one that was just the right height.
“OK John are you ready?” Ema asked him.
“Yea.” He weakly replied. They got on the ride and it started up, John tightened his grip in the bar until his knuckles started to turn pale.

After the ride was over he hopped out of the car and said,
“Yea, that was the awesomest thing I have ever done. Lets go on some more!”
“We need to hurry because the bus leaves in just over an hour.” Ema stated to the group.”
“Lets go!” Quin shouted, striding toward the bigger roller coasters. John got there and looked up at the roller coaster,
“Everything alright, John?” Megan said walking over to him.
“Yea,” he said continuing to stride over to the ride he hopped in and off he went.

Coaster Phobia

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One hot summer day, Mary and her 3 friends Lola, Gary and Sam decided to take a trip to their favorite amusement park Six Flags. All of them had been there before except little Mary she was scared of roller coasters. She decided she would try to get over her fear of roller coasters by going with them to the amusement park. After an hour drive the finally got into the park. They were gonna get on the newest roller coaster in the park first the Dragon but while going to the line Mary started to get butterflies in her tummy. So she made an excuse saying they should take a dip in the pool first since it was so hot. So they all left the line and ran to the pool.

Then Gary said,“Come on I think we should go back to the roller coaster now” but then again Mary made another excuse saying she was really hungry and they couldn’t get on rides with an empty tummy. Do they all rushed to the food stands and got some chicken fingers and fries.While eating Lola said now we really have to go to the roller coaster after this and they every said yeah except Mary. Then, they all ran to the roller coaster.

This time Mary had no excuses for them to not get on the roller coaster and they were already in the front of the line. The group that had just got off the roller coaster had a little girl running off crying. Mary was terrified and had a nervous look on her face. Lola saw that she looked kinda scared and told her everything was gonna be alright it’s just a ride. Then Gary said “Yeah its not like we’ll get stuck upside down or something hopefully not” Then he started laughing. Sam smacked Gary and said “Oh be quiet” then Gary said “I’m just kidding”then roller coaster control dude said alright now next up. Mary stood still and silent for a second.

Lola said, “Mary if it makes you feel better you can sit next to me and hold my hand if you want” Mary smiled and said OK. When the ride started Mary squeezed Lola’s hand Lola smiled. By the time they got off Mary was screaming but screaming in excitement. And asked all of her friends if they wanted to ride again they all laughed and said no lets try the next roller coaster. That day Mary had got rid of her fear of roller coaster. They were now her favorite thing now she wanted to go ride one every day for the rest of the summer.

Bigger In New York

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“Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don’t change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same, and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan.” John C. Maxwell says. I agree with his statement. I try to think through his perspective, but shame myself when I don’t try hard enough to work toward my goal because although I am only 13, I have grand plans for my life. I plan to a high school for the arts, attend FIT college in New York City, live in a beautiful neighborhood, get married, and have adorable children. Even though this plan may be refined over time, it will basically stay the same. As a grow, I expect to follow this plan. It’s almost like an easy-to-follow map to keep my life on track. My biggest fear is that this plan will be ruined by an unexpected event, and make my life like a roller coaster, with unforeseen twists and turns. I wouldn’t mind a few surprises, but I have goals in mind that I fear I may not be able to reach if my life takes another path.

 

When I was ten, I heard about the Fashion Institute of Technology. It seemed like a dream. Right out of a barbie movie, where I could have the chance to be the star. Since I loved drawing, painting, and shopping, I thought, “I could be a fashion designer!” To attend college in the heart of the city, learn about fashion, be exposed to different trends, noises, sounds and cultures made me dizzy with excitement. When we drove to the big apple around Thanksgiving time later that year, I visited the FIT museum to look around. I was astounded by all the history, artifacts, beautiful clothing, and exotic labels. There, I discovered Lauren Bacall. She was a beautiful old Hollywood actress and fashionista, born in the 1920’s. Her clothing was on display. Her Bacall and the Boys fall 1960’s fall fashion preview was playing on a projector.  I watched her movies, read some of her autobiography, Lauren Bacall, By Myself (personally signed, thanks to my grandmother) and analyzed her perfect eyebrows. Then I began to think, “Why can’t I be like her?”

 

That’s where my plan began. Every night after, I had dreams about college. Endless fun, cute outfits, and my name in lights. I craved to be in the city. The noise, smells, and the ora of it all made butterflies dance in my stomach. It seemed so perfect and achievable, but somewhere, buzzing in the back of my mind, I knew it was unrealistic. I directed my thoughts towards the positive aspects of a flexible future, but was disheartened to know that my life wouldn’t be as glamorous as Bacall’s movies.

 

Now, I have a slightly different way of seeing things. I will work towards smaller goals. One of my goals is to be more accepting of an unplanned fate. I will close my eyes and try my best to go where the wind blows me. Sometimes I confuse myself, because I am very flexible with the changing of small plans. If I wanted to wear a dress to school but it was in the washing machine, I would never throw a fit. Even if a family vacation was cancelled, I wouldn’t be too sad about it. But I will try to let go of my fear of messing up my overall plan, one small goal at a time. Like John Maxwell says, “Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision.” I will try my hardest to do as these words say, and to embrace wherever life takes me.