Fear On The Job Market

When I was young, I liked to look at a picture book that was all about jobs. It frightened me a bit because I wanted to learn more about how I was going to be a vet and have a mansion, and be rich. How could I do this in the real world?      My fear is not having financial security and not having the right job.  What is financial security, you ask? Financial security is having the financial state that you have enough money to survive. In my family, financial security has always been in the back of our minds. The thing is, I feel  preordained to be a doctor, lawyer, professor, or scientist because I need to achieve this. All of these jobs give a good income and provide financial security. I remember when I was eight, my mother and father were frantically talking about managing the store my father owned and my father  said: “Gwen, never be self employed! Just get an easy job, like a doctor. ”

I went back to reading my book, but it lingered in my mind. How could I acquire financial security? What jobs could I get? My idea of a good job was a job that I could read books and drink capri-sun at my desk. That was the day that my fear came out.

Another thing that contributed to my fear was aftermath of the recession. I lived through this after period of joblessness. Many of my friends parents were out of jobs and many other people I knew were too . I said to myself,  “ Will this be me, when I’m older?’, “Will I have to get a whole new job,and face taxes,feeding my children,and other money related issues?” I heard my parents sitting on the couch after I went to sleep and fighting about taxes and other issues. It made me nervous and upset. When I saw pictures in the news of homeless people, I was very confused and afraid at such a premature age . I would not let this happen to myself. I axed my dreams of being a reporter and a vet. I said to myself,

“I’m gonna be a scientist or doctor.’’ That was that.  I said dreams are overrated, and left it there.

If you are wondering, I have never gotten over my fear. I have never really said what I truly want to be. I have always been extremely careful about money, and the idea of speculating about the future makes me sad. What do I want to be? I want to be a UN ambassador.  That sounds like it might be frivolous and far fetched, but I think it would be fascinating. That’s what I truly want to be, but if I’m in the real world, I’ll pick what’s best for my bank account, not myself  . But sometimes,when I think about my fear, I say “If you are only picking a job for money, how are you going to have goals to motivate you? Your goals would be just to get more money .” I feel like if I wanted to do a job that would be money motivated, my work would be hollow, with no meaning.
I think to be successful, you have to have the right amount of being grounded and having dreams. Many successful people have reachable  dreams, that they can follow and use it to motivate yourself. Success is not always about money, it’s not always about good jobs or such. It can be about helping others, or making change in a community. I can have a well rounded,fulfilling life without always being rich or always having a full bank account. If I really want a good job, why don’t I follow my dreams? My dream job is respectful and fulfills my needs. And when I think about this, I say my fear of not having the right job is foolish. I can have the life I want without being a doctor, lawyer, or scientist.

COURAGE,
High Up

I’ve had a terrible fear of heights my entire life. It’ll, sometimes, stop me from experiencing some really enjoyable things. My friends and family constantly tell me there’s nothing to be afraid of but, it doesn’t change anything, I still won’t go on roller coasters, tall buildings or anything to high.
One day, my family was visiting Paris. We had gone to The Louvre, Notre Dame and, The Catacombs. I was ready to head home but, my mom wanted to see The Eiffel Tower since she had always wanted to. We started walking over but, the closer we got, the scareder I got. I had heard the Tower was extremely tall but, it looked like it was billions of miles high. We entered the huge line for the elevator to go up. I was almost trembling with fear. My dad noticed I my fear. “Hey, if you don’t want to go, we don’t have to.” I hated being an inconvenience so, I said I was fine. My Dad knew I was lying. “Listen,” He said looking me in the eyes, “I’d like you to go up, at least to the 1st floor. If you want to come back down, We will but, I want you to give it a chance, Okay?” I really didn’t want to but, I wasn’t about to be rude now, not after my family had taken me here. I agreed to do it.

As we reached the front of the line, I started to worry. Even the first floor is EXTREMELY high up but, atleast we weren’t going to the top. We climbed onto the elevator and it took us up to the 1st floor. When the doors opened, I weakly walked out, feeling a bit nauseous. I walked over to the side to look at the view. When I looked over, I didn’t get the usual sick feeling I get when I did that. Actually, the view was really nice, I stayed awhile and looked for our hotel. After a couple minutes, My parents came over. “Alright, we had our fun. Ready to head down?” They said
“Well, if you guys want to go one more level, I’m okay with that.” I said smiling. They looked at each other and grinned. “Well,” My mom said. “We don’t want to waste our tickets now, do we?”