Swish, swish.
“Will you stop!”
“What?”
“Your little swishing thing when you have to swipe your hands at the same time, what you just did!”
“I can’t control it!”
“I bet you can!”
“Jack, stop, I know I can, but I just can’t!”
“That makes no sense!”
“Goodbye.”
“Bye.” Ugh, my brother Jack is the most judgmental person you will ever meet, sometimes I just can’t stand him. He tries to have the same fight with me everyday, it doesn’t make sense, he thinks I’m so weird but my mom says I just have OCD. Which means that, in my case, whenever one side of body has some sort of added pressure, the other side has to have added pressure as well. For example, If I swipe my right hand on the wall, I then turn around and swipe my left hand on the wall to be even. And Jack thinks thats weird.
“Lacey, lets go take Misty out for a walk” yells my sister Ana.
“Coming,” I reply. I jump on the rail of the long, twisted stairwell leading down to the first floor of my house, I should lean more to the right, but I have to be even.
“Ahhhhhhh,” I scream as I tumble onto Ana.
“Ugh,” Ana grunts, “what just happened?”
“I had to be even, I just can’t stop, I have to do it.”
“I know, but you really need to at least try to stop.”
“Lets just go, I don’t want to have another argument.”
“OK” she replied confusingly.
As I walked outside the fresh August breeze felt nice on my face, like a seagull flying through the salty ocean air. And as we walked down the sidewalk in total silence, I switched the leash of Misty to my left hand, it had to be even of course, Ana rolled her eyes at me as I kept walking down the street. It really is something I could control, but it’s like I can’t at the same time, I could choose not to switch the leash, but my brain/ body is telling me to switch it to be even. As I walk up the steps, the arch of my right foot hits the corner of a step, so I try hit my left foot on it to, I succeed in hitting it on the arch, but not the nerve, or exact place it did on the other foot, after 2 minutes of trying to hit the right spot, I give up, I know I will remember it for a long time, about 10 months ago I hit the same spot on a chair in school, I still remember it. I keep walking, and I wonder ‘what hand should I grab the doorknob with’? I finally decide to open the door with my right hand, and walking in I hear Ana talking to my mom about me on the walk.
“She switched the leash multiple times!” Ana harshly whispers, I make my way closer to the kitchen where they are talking.
“Its OK”, my mom lightly takes Ana’s hands into her own, “she will be fine.” Ana stood in the kitchen for a minute, as she thinks, I peek at the kitchen, the green walls, the granite countertops, the oven, baking the cookies, which smell like happiness on a sunny day at the beach. Oh, only two more days until we leave for the beach, I can’t wait. Ana begins to rush out of the kitchen, and I quickly hid behind a wall. She keeps on walking at a quick pace, knowing her, she’s up to something. After shes up the stairs and disappears into a hallway, I quickly and quietly tiptoe up the stairs, like a mouse scouring for cheese.
“LACEY!” my mother shouts, “WHERE ARE YOU PLANNING ON GOING!”
“Um, nowhere,” I reply, as innocently as possible.
“Did you hear my conversation with Ana?”
“What conversation, what was it about” I’ve learned that there are two ways that when asked that question, you can go about answering it. First, you ask what I asked, ‘what conversation?’, that doesn’t always work, but it can, when you know who you’re up against, and what your trying to hide. The other way you could answer is just by straight answering ‘no’. You can finish the conversation by ending it there and then (just walk away), or by asking about what the conversation included, for example, I asked ‘what was it about?’
As I snuck up the stairs, I turned right into the long hallway revealing vacant and used bedrooms, as I keep walking I hear whispers coming from one of the rooms, I quickly turn right.
“Can we do something?”
“I’ve been watching hypnotizing videos, maybe I can hypnotize her.”
“Great!” I run into the room crying and throw myself on my bed, how could they try to do this to me? Why? Just why?
Knock knock. Knock knock. KNOCK. Bang! Bang! Slam! I run into my quiet space, the farthest away from the door, I cover myself in beanbags and laid there, waiting for something to happen.
“Open up Lacey, we just want to talk to you” Jack shouts from outside, I hear Ana snicker, she knows what will actually happen. I get up, slowly, and walk on my tiptoes to the door. I slowly open the door, hesitantly, scared I will be attacked by Jack and Ana. Once the door is open all the way, I open my eyes, it’s just my mom standing in the hall.
“Uh, hello,” I say, confused.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“Uh, ok, about what?”
“About you.” She sternly replies,
“Fine. Come in.”
“Your siblings are very annoyed with your OCD”
“Why?”
“It takes longer to do things because everything has to be even”
“I know, but I just can’t control it”
“Well, what if you try to control it, just try”
“Fine.”
Two weeks later I’m still trying to control it but it’s getting better, it won’t ever be something I can totally control, but I’m still trying my best. In the end OCD is a hurdle I need to jump over, on both legs.