The Major Fear

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Dying will always be a big fear of mine and will stick with me until that day. Dying has always been a question or a thought that goes through the back and front of my mind. I always wanted to know what that day would be like but i know now that i would have to find out.

 

I have always been afraid of dying because everyone in my life or anyone close to me has always died unexpectedly or they were here just too sick to to keep going with their sick life. Dying has a major impact in everyone’s life but it scares me knowing that everyone and even me has to die someday and that we would never know when or how. Most of my family is still with me on earth and most of them has already dies in so many ways and some are worse than the other. I always had a fear that i would die an unhappy life or not living up to my standards and completing all of my goal.I always question to myself and imaged the possibilities of how i would die but with the was i had imagined it was like me being murdered or something tragic.

 

I am afraid of dying because i am afraid of doing everything i wanted and not being the person i wanted or the person everyone would remember me as. When i die i want to die living up to all of my standards and completing all of my goals and becoming the person i want to be. I have feared many times that when i die i wouldn’t be remembered the person i want to be remembered as.

 

Dying is one of my major fears and i know that one day we are all going to to die and that it is only natural and human nature. I have learned to accept that someday, but still it will be one of my major fear and will always cross my mind. Having this fear has made me wonder what my life would be like if i had completely overcome that fear and have the courage to live up to my fate. Dying is one of my biggest fears and hearing how people die and hearing about so many people died made me wonder what will happen to me or when will i die or how would i die.

Fears That Bind Us

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It is tempting

I see the light

bright and warm

I understand

why people always go

towards it

It beckons me

calling out

the voices of those I’ve lost

 

It is tempting

they sound so pained

they call to me

It is tempting

then I understand

I can not go into the light

I must fight it

 

I am terrified

I know I must

overcome

my fears

I can’t do it

yes I can

I smell it

the stench of the dead

lIke a million skunks

the bodies, dead, but still calling

I taste the blood

awful

like metal

 

then

I realize

not blood

but death

what I taste

I know I am close

to death

this knowledge scares me

but gives me power

scary, but powerful

I will myself to overcome

I rise up and wash

the taste out of my mouth

with the water of life

I am living

with power

new power

 

it was tempting

my fears

overcome

no longer binding me

The Future

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The Future,

I wonder what it would be like.

I wonder what I’d be like.

Maybe flying cars and

Robots with emotions

and a job,

a job in which

I get money

to pay

the

Money collectors,

to get back my house,

the house my family owned

for many generations,

the house they took

to pay off

MY dept.

The dept that I

got myself into

by borrowing money from

them.

The collectors that

beat me and my family to a bloody pulp

every month

if they didn’t get what they

need,

or should I say what they want

The need that I

PLEAD

for mercy

hoping to go back to the

Past

The Future,

I wonder what it would be like,

I wonder what I’d be like

By: Ayda

My greatest fear

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a towering feature

so large and steep

a figure towering down with incredible speed

 

children of all ages screaming

a sharp screech exiting their mouths

other surround sounds of children for miles long fill my ears

 

sweat dripping down my face into my mouth

nerves getting from my head to my toes

not a bit of courage

 

anxiety taking over

I have fear of the unknown

my feet moving forward

finally a bitter stop in the carriage

 

nervous as a jitterbug

I see a towering feature

children of all ages screaming

as I climb I gain courage

 

suddenly a stop at a peak

and zoom crash bang hurdling down

it is over I have done it I feel unstoppable

I am a lion

The Big Water

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The Ocean

So strong and so powerful

Pulling you away

So  evil it will deceive you

changing your life forever

Take you away

To a better place

 

The ocean

So powerful

So deep

so dangerous

so harmful

Filled with animals that could make you disappear

Forever

 

The waves take you farther and farther

Away from life

so strong they take your breath away

with your life

You hear the kids screaming

You jump in and try to help

But it’s too strong

too dangerous

The ocean

 

Dream Trapped

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By: Madeline

My eyes wander the open scene,

There was one soul to be found

And that was me.

 

To hear the sound of nothing

Wasn’t blank at all

But the sight of nothing,

Grew to a fear above all.

 

I look up to see

shiny dreams,

And wonder

Where am I might be?

 

I study around, like a fox at night

Until I gazed upon

This empty box

and…

BAM!

I was in my dream.

 

Thousands of my dreams

vanished here,

and I finally caught one.

The Water of Death

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“Hey you guys should go down the river.” my uncle said

“Can we?” my dad replied

“I did, you don’t even need a permit.”

“We’re still going to check. Do you want to try it?” my dad said talking to my family

That’s when we decided to go tubing down the Niagara River. So the first thing we did is go to the info station and asked is there a way we can talk to the Niagara water Marshall. My dad and mom went there and came back and said we can without a permit. When  the next day came we go out and buy things we need. We needed a whistle to make sound if we need help, a water gun that will show boats that we were there and tubes. We got everything set and went down to the river we got a little floater for a cooler with snacks and rope to tie each other together.

I was so excited until I saw the water it was dark couldn’t see anything. I started second guessing it. But I couldn’t let my family down so jumped in my tube and I kept my feet and hands out of the water. Once I hit the water all you heard was SPLASH! After 5 minutes or so it was relaxing. Until a boat came by we had to grab our water gun and shoot it up in the air even though it was in the morning.

The shocking part is the water was as cold as ice. But after a little you got use to it. We went down the river we ate some snacks and put the wrappers back in the coolers so we didn’t litter.  But one of the scariest parts was when my dad wanted to lay in his tube so he struggled around then he said he just touched something with his foot. I don’t know if he was lying or not but I still got scared.

Once we came up to our drop off there were parked boats everywhere and since I was the smallest I wasn’t the strongest. I tried and tried to swim to the dock, but I couldn’t I started getting nervous. But then my mom came to my rescue and grabbed a hold of me and helped me to the docks. Once we got up we headed to the car and I thanked my mom for helping me. That’s my courage story of me coming over my fear of the dark water where you can’t see anything.

Do or Don’t

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If you have no fear of talking in front out a large crowd without preparation or improvising a solo because you forgot it; props to you. Stepping out of my comfort zone, especially in public is always a struggle for me to get past. People try and give me strategies for going up in front of a group of people, like imagine everyone’s in their underwear or stare at one spot in the room. It’s not that I’m scared of the people watching me it’s what they think about me, when they’re judging me. I try to play but only a squeak of my instrument comes out along with my face bursting out into a lavish red and sweating profusely. I put some of my hardest work into my tone and solos but when it’s time I break under the pressure. Grades and all of these numbers that rate me and are supposed to the reason I do well or fail in life. Why do I even try?

Music has been a necessity since I first touched a trumpet in 4th grade then it grew to two instruments and approaching three. It would be a vent for me if I was mad, sad or depressed in anyway. It’s a counselor you don’t need an appointment for. Most days after school instead of eating, sleeping or homework, I would go and play music; much to my family’s dismay. If was happening to feel stressed in any way or form the words woven by the music would pull the pressure of my shoulders.

Then when I get in front of people that all changes. My head’s a mess of thoughts and my face is twisted in concentration. “Am I playing the right notes?”, “when am I supposed to stop?”, “is it good enough?”  The notes flow out without me even thinking about it, years of practice assure that I know the notes. I only wanted the solo because I was the only who practiced it, but I was still way too afraid to mess up. Then a thought hit me like a rock, “If my teacher allowed me to do this why can’t I?” He had enough faith in me so why don’t I?

Music will always be a home to me and it will carry me through the hard times. It speaks to me better than anyone. The fear is just like a spit valve I need to clear and clean.

Some Experience

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souls of helpless people

scrambling to survive

like an ant scrambling from a psychotic fly

some do not make it

the lightning strikes

big and scary

 

The gust of air

scratching my face

I taste the dust

so bitter yet sweet

last glimpse of sunlight

my heart begins to beat

 

lost spirits

now float about

hesitant hands hopeless

on grabbing

anything

to save

this poor man

 

The smell of nothing

it seems

my nose so numb

blood rushing now to the tip of my tongue

But somehow my mind

not rotten but broken

 

the clinking of string

Maybe a pure being

Alas, a parachute

Saved so sweet

to save I must

jump out:

swift feet

 

I see the plane

SPLASH!

Sinking in the belly of the beast

The worst way

of death it seems

but now i see

there is not another

pure being here

but me

The Panic of a Child

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A storm starts brewing in your soul’s once peaceful sea;

Welled up tears,

Anger,

Fears,

Collected in one giant hurricane of “Oh, poor me!”

 

It comes crashing,

Bashing, down upon you;

Maimed,

In pain,

Crying.

 

The torrents of tears burn the skin,

Asking questions you’ve hidden within;

The Why?’s

The What?’s

How did you let this happen?

 

Every second ticks loud and fast,

You take look in the past;

Times of tears,

Don’ts and didn’ts.

There’s no room for comforts here.

 

Like the monster hidden underneath your bed,

Eyes wish not to behold, much rather it be dead;

A writhing,

Screaming,

Child of pain and tormented tears.

 

Children beware;

Demons and monsters

Crawl and creep.

Picking at your soul while you sleep.

You may survive for a while, but soon enough…

 

With the storms of roiling, boiling, sadness and confusion,

A girl of joy,

Never tears,

Will find herself

A roiling ball of agony.

 

By: Julie